


Learning You in Three Dimensions

by threerings



Series: Size Kink Universe [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Developing Relationship, First Time, First Time Topping, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Penis Size, Porn with Feelings, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Spanking, This was supposed to be silly but it caught a bad case of feelings, Victor has a size kink, Yuuri is hung, most of this is porn ok, ultimately sappy fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 06:36:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11307774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threerings/pseuds/threerings
Summary: Victor Nikiforov thought he was used to the frustration that came from dealing with Yuuri Katsuki.  Since his arrival in Hasetsu he’d adjusted his expectations.  Yuuri was a much different person than Victor had expected from their previous interaction.  Victor thought he’d accepted the fact that his time with Yuuri involved much less sex than he would prefer.And then.  And then he’d caught a glimpse of Yuuri’s dick.





	Learning You in Three Dimensions

**Author's Note:**

> This idea would NOT leave me alone and I thought it was going to be fairly short and silly...and then this happened.
> 
> I feel like this fic needs a disclaimer like, "opinions about penises expressed herein don't necessarily represent those of the author."

Victor Nikiforov thought he was used to the frustration that came from dealing with Yuuri Katsuki. Since his arrival in Hasetsu he’d adjusted his expectations. Yuuri was a much different person than Victor had expected from their previous interaction. Victor thought he’d accepted the fact that his time with Yuuri involved much less sex than he would prefer. 

And then. And then he’d caught a glimpse of Yuuri’s dick. 

He hadn’t been trying to, honestly. Victor, while he enjoyed the amount of time they spent naked together in the onsen, tried his best to respect Yuuri’s modesty. Well, he’d definitely stared at his ass before when his back was turned. But that was understandable, surely, since it was the most perfect ass he’d ever seen. 

And maybe he’d been trying to sneak another peek at that ass on the day when he accidentally got an eyeful of full frontal Yuuri. Yuuri was climbing out of the spring, his face turned away, and Victor had turned just in time for several seconds of unobstructed dick to burn themselves into his memory. 

Because the thing was, Yuuri was...big. His soft cock hung heavily between his legs, but in length and girth it was...impressive. Victor later replayed those seconds over and over in his mind, and decided that Yuuri soft was about the same size as himself fully erect. Or possibly even larger. He found himself literally salivating over the thought of what that cock might look like hard.

Because Victor had to admit, he had something of a size kink. It was one of his deepest fantasies to be with a man with a really large cock. He’d had a variety of partners in the past, of course, with a variety of dicks, and he wasn’t shallow enough to make size a _requirement._ But he still always vaguely wished for the opportunity to get fucked by a huge cock one day. It had become something of a fixation for him. When he looked for porn, he frequented sites with the words “huge” “hung” and “monster” in their titles. He owned a wide selection of sex toys, including some extra large and extra thick, and he’d worked his way up to using them. 

In truth it had kept him occupied during a time in which he’d had extremely few real sexual partners, his interest in fleeting hook-ups having waned in recent years. He’d secretly fantasized about a suave, gorgeous man with a huge cock coming into his life and sweeping him off his feet (and into his bed.) 

So when Victor inadvertently discovered the man who had swept him off his feet on a dance floor in Sochi also possessed a larger-than-average dick, it was an incredible distraction. He found his mind slipping into extremely inappropriate thoughts at the worst times. 

And at night, alone in his room, separated from Yuuri only by a single wall, Victor let his imagination run wild. He hadn’t brought his full collection of sex toys with him from Russia, but he had a few, and he used them on himself with abandon, fucking himself hard until he was sore, stifling his cries into his pillow. 

These thoughts, though he couldn’t really help them, were unfortunate given the fragile relationship he’d formed with Yuuri. He’d come to understand that Yuuri was a much more complicated person than he’d seemed on first acquaintance. And the more he’d gotten to know him, the more Victor had valued the moments of connection they shared. He had despaired early on, thinking Yuuri didn’t even like him very much, wasn’t at all interested in Victor except for what he could do for his career.

But then there had been those shining moments, when Yuuri’s eyes had spoken something different to Victor. When he’d responded to Victor’s flirtations with gasps and sparkling eyes, and heat had bloomed between them, if only for a few seconds. When they’d shared words of understanding and friendship on the beach. Victor wasn’t sure of the shape of the thing that was being built between them, but he was terrified of breaking it. 

So he tried to push his increasingly pornographic thoughts to the back of his mind. It became easier as he started enjoying the time spent with Yuuri more and more. Their working relationship strengthened as they worked to create Yuuri’s free program. And their friendship solidified in the long days of summer, as the laughter they shared and their understanding of each other grew. Victor still ached for more than friendship with Yuuri, still longed to touch him. But he was happy. Happier than he could remember being, possibly ever. 

Therefore it was a shock to him when the day came that Yuuri kissed him. They were sitting on the beach, having soaked in the afternoon sun to relax their tired muscles. They were lying on a shared mat, as the sun lowered towards the horizon and the world went orange and pink. And Yuuri had turned to him, looked into his eyes for a long, silent moment and then leaned in and planted a tender, brief kiss on his lips. 

Victor felt as if his breath and heart stopped in that moment. He held completely still, not sure if he was awake, afraid to break whatever spell had created this. 

“Yuuri,” he whispered when he could find the breath. Yuuri ducked his head and blushed, not meeting Victor’s eyes. Victor shifted closer to him and lifted his chin with two fingers. Then he leaned in and kissed Yuuri back, gently, with closed lips. When he pulled back Yuuri’s eyes shone, and he was looking at Victor with wonder. Victor ran his thumb over Yuuri’s slightly parted lips, feeling his hot breath between them. 

And then Yuuri surged forward and kissed him again, this time fiercely, gripping the back of Victor’s head with one hand. His tongue slid between Victor’s gasping lips, curling around his own. The kiss was hungry and Victor moaned in response and matched Yuuri’s intensity. He clutched at the smaller man, pulling their chests flush against one another. Hands roamed as lips and tongues explored and tasted. The kiss went on and on, and Victor couldn’t remember the last time he’d been kissed like this. It was a kiss with the rhythm of sex, a crescendo of need and hunger that spiked with them both grinding hard into each other’s hips. And then the crest broke and the kiss gentled and they lapped at each other’s mouths as they came down, trembling.

When they finally broke apart to breathe heavily together, foreheads touching, Victor’s entire body was shaking slightly. He ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s sides in a gentling, soothing motion. Their legs tangled together, hips still working to their own less insistent rhythm now. Victor’s cock and balls ached with desire, but he hardly noticed. His chest was so tight and filled with bright happiness that the complaints of his body felt far away. He was grinning and so was Yuuri, he realized. 

“Wow, I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he said softly, stroking Yuuri’s hair back from his face.

Yuuri huffed a laugh. “Probably not as long as I have.” Victor tilted his head in question but Yuuri shook his head slightly. “Is this real?” Yuuri asked after a moment, his hand reaching up to trace along Victor’s cheek. “Not a dream?”

Victor’s smile widened and he darted in to kiss Yuuri again, taking a moment to pull his bottom lip between his own. “I’m fairly sure it’s real, yes. But I _have_ had some dreams like this, so I can’t be completely sure.”

Yuuri’s face lit with happiness and delight and Victor couldn’t help kissing him again. They fell into each other again, kissing and pressing close until their lips were swollen and the sun had set completely. They finally parted as the night grew colder and Makkachin grew more insistent that it was time to head home for dinner. 

That night Victor lay in bed, unable to sleep, knowing his beloved was in the next room. He didn’t want to intrude on him, didn’t want to press for more than Yuuri was ready for. He would savor each moment they had together, each kiss and caress. He relived their time on the beach in his mind, over and over. 

~~~~~

The days slipped by too quickly. Regardless of how much they both may have wanted to do nothing but find a private space to kiss and explore each other, they had work to do. Yuuri continued to push himself hard, and he was frequently so exhausted in the evenings that he almost feel asleep in the onsen. Yuuri had asked that they keep their change in relationship private for now, so they only kissed when no one was around, or in the privacy of their rooms. 

Every time Yuuri leaned in and initiated contact, Victor felt incredibly privileged. He glowed with pride when Yuuri pulled him in close and kissed him like he was precious. Victor thought they both handled each other as if each kiss might be their last, as if a wrong move could end things. But as the days passed they grew more confident, more sure of the welcome reception of their advances. 

And things between them grew in intensity and heat. One day Victor had Yuuri in his bed, Yuuri pinning him down with the weight of his body. As they kissed they thrust their hips against each other hard. Victor could feel Yuuri’s hard length against his belly, the friction of his clothing against his own cock a near torment. Victor grabbed Yuuri’s ass with both hands and held him down as he thrust hard up against him. A shudder passed through Yuuri and his grinding grew more frenzied. They weren’t even really kissing anymore, but panting into each other’s mouths. Then Yuuri stiffened, thrusting helplessly and crying out before going limp against Victor. 

Victor held him as he shuddered in the aftermath of his orgasm. He tried to ignore his own intense need as he stroked Yuuri’s back soothingly. 

“Sorry,” said Yuuri into his chest. 

“What for?” asked Victor. Yuuri shrugged a bit. Then Yuuri’s hand started tracing down Victor’s clothed chest, down his stomach, and under the waistband of his sweats. The hand slid down and grasped his throbbing cock, starting to move. Victor groaned in appreciation and Yuuri gripped him harder. He was already close, and the feel of Yuuri’s hand on him, actually touching him, sent him dancing along the edge almost instantly. It wasn’t long before his back was arching and he was crying out as he came. Yuuri stroked him through it, before pulling his hand out from Victor’s pants wiping it on his own stained clothing. 

“Well now we’re both a mess,” said Victor once he got his breath back. Yuuri giggled a bit from where he still rested on top of Victor. “Thank you,” added Victor.

“No problem.” Yuuri had kissed him and then told him goodnight before retiring. Victor had fallen asleep curled around Makkachin, wishing he’d asked Yuuri to stay. 

~~~~~

Another night found them wrapped around each other in Victor’s bed, kissing for what felt like hours. This time Yuuri slid down Victor’s body, freeing his erection to the air and lowering his mouth to it. Victor moaned as Yuuri sucked and licked at his cock, fulfilling several of Victor’s fantasies. Victor fought to kept his eyes open, wanting to watch. Yuuri moved confidently and enthusiastically, moaning around Victor’s cock. Yuuri used his hands as well as his mouth to bring Victor quickly to orgasm. Yuuri swallowed as he came with apparent relish, licking Victor’s cock clean. 

Victor let his head fall back against the pillows with a groan, waiting for his heartbeat to return to a normal pace. Yuuri crawled up the bed and curled up against him. Victor turned to him and kissed him, tasting himself. He traced a hand down the front of Yuuri’s body, to the waist of his pants. Yuuri stopped him with a hand on his wrist, shaking his head. 

Victor frowned at Yuuri, studying his reddened cheeks and eyes that wouldn’t meet Victor’s. Victor withdrew his hand and leaned back. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He didn’t want to push Yuuri further than he was comfortable, but he hated feeling selfish in bed. And Yuuri’s blow job had been so enthusiastic, he hadn’t expected to encounter resistance when he tried to reciprocate. 

Yuuri’s eyes flicked up to his finally and he spoke lightly, “I’m fine.” 

“You sure?” Victor asked, his doubt probably clear in his tone. 

“Mmm-hmm.” Yuuri turned around then, facing away from Victor. But he scooted back until he was pressed close, and Victor circled him with his arm. Yuuri made a noise of contentment and Victor tried to relax. He’d learned that Yuuri didn’t respond well to being pushed, so he would simply have to wait as patiently as possible. 

When Yuuri moved to get up a little while later, Victor asked him to stay the night. Yuuri had blushed but returned to bed and they slept peacefully next to each other.

~~~~~

Victor was distracted all through training the next day. He knew patience wasn’t exactly one of his virtues, and he couldn’t stop wondering if there was some reason Yuuri had refused him. His mind came up with ever increasingly unlikely possibilities as to why Yuuri didn’t seem to want Victor to touch him. 

So finally, when they were soaking in the onsen, he couldn’t stand it any more.

“Yuuri, can I ask you something?” Yuuri opened his eyes and looked at Victor in surprise. 

“Sure?” he said.  
Victor considered. “I really enjoyed last night,” he began. “But I was wondering why...if there was some problem, some reason you didn’t want me to...reciprocate?” 

Yuuri’s face, already flushed from the heat, grew even darker red. His eyes flicked around like he was looking for an escape. Finally he stared into the water for a while, seeming to consider his answer.

“I have...had some bad experiences,” he said finally, not looking at Victor. 

“Oh,” said Victor, his mind racing. “Oh. I’m...sorry.” His stomach flipped, suddenly afraid he’d been an idiot never to consider that Yuuri might have very good reasons to be hesitant. Or very bad reasons. “I...I didn’t mean to...if you weren’t ready...I’m sorry...I didn’t know...”

Yuuri was looking at him curiously. He seemed to realize what Victor was thinking suddenly, though, because his eyes went wide. “Oh, no! Not _bad_ bad experiences! Not like...that.” And now it was Victor’s turn to be confused. Yuuri sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“I just meant...not great experiences, I guess. Sorry, I know I’m not being clear.” Victor stared at him, brow furrowed. 

“Ok, sorry, now I’m even more confused, I guess,” he said finally. 

“Sorry, sorry. This is just not easy for me to talk about,” said Yuuri. “If there’s thing you want to know, maybe you should just ask. Directly.”

Victor let out a breath. “Ok.” He thought. “So, you haven’t been...abused or anything?” 

“No.” Yuuri sighed. “I see how what I said made you think... No, it’s not like that.”

“And you’re not...a virgin.”

“No. At least, no, not mostly.” Yuuri gave him a small smile. Victor appreciated it, and it helped him feel less awkward. 

“Ok, but...you’re not comfortable...with some things?” Yuuri looked away again, shrugging his shoulders a little. His mouth moved a bit but he didn’t answer. 

“I don’t want to push you. That’s not why I’m asking,” he offered.

Yuuri smiled at him again. “I know.”

“And I don’t want you to feel...pressured into anything you don’t want to do. Really.” Yuuri met his eyes for a moment, and then he moved towards Victor. He stopped only a short distance away and Victor suddenly realized their naked bodies were separated only by the cloudy water. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Victor,” Yuuri said in a low voice. Victor swallowed, those words going through him like electricity. “But I...because of some things in the past, I’m...nervous.” 

Victor longed to touch him, and if they weren’t naked in a pool he would probably have hugged the other man. But he didn’t want to send exactly the wrong message, so he bit his bottom lip and didn’t reach for Yuuri. “It’s ok,” he said finally. “I...I’ll wait.” Yuuri smiled at him, a little sadly, and Victor wished he had anything else to say.

Yuuri moved away from him and soon said it was probably time to get out of the spring. Victor got out first and kept himself from looking back, to give Yuuri privacy. They dried off and dressed in silence before going upstairs. When they reached Victor’s room, Yuuri finally spoke.

“I’d like some time to myself, if that’s ok.” Victor felt a stab of fear through him, but he pushed the feeling down.

“Sure, of course,” he said. Yuuri nodded and turned to his own door. 

“Wait,” called Victor. He took a couple large steps towards Yuuri. The other man turned to him and Victor cupped his cheek gently. He looked into Yuuri’s eyes, looking for permission. All he saw was a lot of confused emotion. “Can I have a kiss?” he asked quietly.

Yuuri’s face cleared and broke into a smile. “Of course!” he said, and then reached up and pulled Victor down into an eager kiss. Victor’s shoulders relaxed as the tension bled from him. He’d been fearing the worst, that something had broken in their fledgling relationship, but Yuuri felt just like himself again. The kiss was sweet but passionate and eager, and Victor felt that things would eventually be alright, even if it took awhile. 

~~~~~

Several days passed, and things between Victor and Yuuri settled into a comfortable routine. They skated and trained during the day, and in the evening would settle into Victor’s bed and kiss each other breathless. At first they both seemed to be holding back from letting things get too hot, but before long they were rutting against one another again, and Yuuri was offering hand jobs and blow jobs again. 

Victor didn’t attempt to reciprocate, much as he wanted to. He had to trust that Yuuri knew he was willing and would let him know when he was ready. 

One night Yuuri was going down on Victor with enthusiasm, and Victor was gripping his hair, when Yuuri stopped suddenly. He looked up at Victor and said, “You could fuck me if you want.”

Victor stared at him, blinking with incomprehension. When Victor didn’t say anything, Yuuri flushed red and ducked his head. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled and returned his mouth to Victor’s cock. Victor blinked a moment or two more and then tightened his grip in Yuuri’s hair, pulling him up and off his cock. 

“Wait, Yuuri, wait,” he said, sitting up and trying to get Yuuri to meet his eyes. “What was that about?”

“Nothing, never mind,” said Yuuri, still looking down. 

“Yuuri,” Victor breathed, not knowing what else to say. “Will you please talk to me?” Silence. “I don’t understand you...why would you offer that, just like that?”

“If you don’t want to...” started Yuuri.

“It’s not that I don’t _want_ to, Yuuri,” interrupted Victor. “Of course I _want_ to, there are a lot of things I _want_ to do with you, but I don’t understand how you act like you aren’t ready for me to touch you at all, and then you ask me to fuck you like that!” He realized he had let some of his frustration and emotion into his voice.

“I...” Yuuri looked stricken and to Victor’s horror he saw his eyes fill with tears. Yuuri jumped up from the bed, pulling away from Victor, and turned to flee. Victor was left on the bed, his erection still exposed in his lap, feeling stunned and devastated. 

He lay back on the bed and covered himself. He tried to think things through and decided nothing made sense. He ached to think he may have hurt Yuuri, and knew he needed to try once again to talk to him. But first he really needed his erection to go away. He thought about Yuuri potentially crying in the next room, and that certainly made him feel less sexy. 

After a few minutes Victor headed to Yuuri’s room and knocked. “Hold on!” called Yuuri. He obviously knew it was Victor since he spoke in English, so Victor waited as he heard movement in the room. 

When the door opened, Yuuri stood in front of him, eyes red. Victor’s heart lurched and his breath hitched. He tried to speak, but words failed him, so they stood there looking at each other for several long moments. 

“Come in,” said Yuuri finally, stepping aside and motioning Victor past him. Victor stepped into the room and Yuuri shut the door behind him. Yuuri moved to the bed to sit and Victor looked to him for permission before he sat down next to him. 

“I should apologize,” said Yuuri, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes.

“No!” interrupted Victor. “Yuuri, don’t, please. I don’t...understand what’s going on, but you’re upset and I just want you to be happy.” Yuuri looked at him with wide eyes and then smiled. 

“Victor,” he said, and then leaned into him, his arms coming around Victor in an embrace. Victor hugged him back, feeling tears prickle behind his eyes. He held Yuuri tightly for a minute or two, until the other man pulled back.

“I...I still owe you an explanation, though,” said Yuuri calmly. Victor stayed silent and tried to look supportive. “I...wow, ok, this is hard to do without apologizing.” He huffed a laugh and Victor smiled. Victor reached out and caught one of Yuuri’s hands in his, interlacing their fingers. Yuuri smiled at him and then looked back down at his lap. 

“The thing is, I’m afraid...afraid for you to see me naked, I guess.” Victor blinked at him and frowned. He couldn’t think what in the world Yuuri could be afraid of. Was he that self-conscious about his body? Did he think he was still overweight? But Victor had already seen so much… 

“Wait,” Victor said, thinking aloud. “Is this...is this because...” Yuuri’s expression didn’t give him any clues. “Because you’re...big?” Yuuri’s eyes widened and he sucked in air. “It _is_?” asked Victor incredulously. 

Yuuri’s face was bright red and he was staring determinedly at the floor. Victor realized he obviously was still missing information because he didn’t understand Yuuri’s behavior at all. So he bit back the relieved laughter that he felt bubbling in his chest. 

“How did you know?” asked Yuuri after a moment. It wasn’t what Victor was expecting and he didn’t understand the question at first. “I mean about...” Yuuri gestured to his groin, his face going even redder. Victor was pretty sure his own face was pretty flushed as well.

“Umm, I saw you. A while ago, getting out of the onsen.” He gave Yuuri an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t trying to, just...well I noticed.” 

“Oh.” Yuuri was staring a hole in the carpet again. “How long is a while ago?”

“Uh, about two months?” 

Yuuri huffed a dry laugh. “Seriously? I’ve been stressing about this all this time and you’ve always known?”

Victor still felt incredibly confused. “I don’t...why is it stressful?” 

Yuuri shook his head and heaved a big sigh. “Everyone always talks about wanting a big dick. Trust me, it’s not that much fun.” He shifted his position, crossing his legs on the bed and turning towards Victor, though he didn’t look up at him. “People react all different ways when they see. Sometimes it’s just ‘nope, bye’ and they’re out.”

“Really?” asked Victor, incredulous. Yuuri looked at him briefly, a slightly amused expression in his eyes.

“Yup. It’s happened.” He shrugged. “Sometimes they get super weird about it, and want me to...I don’t know, try a bunch of stuff. And I feel like a sex toy.” Victor’s face was definitely burning now, and he felt incredibly guilty for all of his fantasies of the last couple of months. “And sometimes...” Yuuri broke off, his expression sad.

“What?” asked Victor.

“I...I was seeing this guy a couple of years ago. I liked him, thought maybe...maybe it was _real_ , you know?” Yuuri flicked his eyes to Victor and he nodded. “But sex...it just never really worked for us. He wanted...he wanted me to fuck him, but we couldn’t make it work. And eventually he dumped me because of it.” 

Yuuri looked at Victor, whose mouth was open in surprise. “That’s terrible!” Yuuri flinched slightly and then shrugged again. “No, really Yuuri, that’s shitty.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Yuuri was picking absently at his blanket. Victor watched him for a minute, feeling angry on his behalf. He vaguely wondered if he could find this guy who had hurt Yuuri and...say very mean things to him. Maybe he could talk Yurio into kicking his ass or something. He shook himself slightly to get rid of those images. 

“So, you were afraid of my reaction?” he asked.  
Yuuri sighed. “Yeah.” He looked at Victor. “Not that I thought...I don’t know, I just...” Victor’s heart melted and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and pulling Yuuri into his arms. Yuuri let himself be pulled against Victor’s chest, so Victor laid back into the bed, pulling Yuuri down next to him. 

“Yuuri,” Victor breathed into his hair. “First of all, I know this may be hard to believe, but I’m not that shallow. I wouldn’t let something so... _superficial_ end a relationship. You know I’m pan, right?” Yuuri looked up at him and nodded slightly. “That means a penis isn’t even a requirement for me.” Yuuri snorted and Victor smiled.

“Secondly, I _really like_ big dicks.” Yuuri met his eyes again, surprised. Victor’s cheeks heated. “I mean, well, I...I might have a... _thing._ I hope that doesn’t put me in your ‘treating you like a sex toy’ category.” Yuuri’s eyes were wide. “I mean, I haven’t ever really...had hands-on experience, if you will, not with anyone really...crap.” 

Victor shifted away from Yuuri and sat up, digging his phone out of his pocket. Yuuri also sat, looking at him curiously. “Just hold on, this will take a sec,” he told him. He opened a browser and typed in some search terms. After some clicking around and waiting for pages to load he found what he was looking for. 

“So, I have this at home, in St. Petersburg.” He held the phone out to Yuuri to show him the page. It was a listing in a sex store, for a realistic “monster” dildo, size XXL. He knew his face was beet red by now, but Yuuri looked fascinated, taking the phone from Victor’s hand and tapping at the screen. He tilted his head and apparently was zooming in to something on the screen.

“You use it?” he asked, shooting Victor a look. 

Victor nodded. “I mean, not all the time. I had to...work up to it. But yeah.”

“You _like_ it?” Yuuri continued.

Victor laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, I... _yeah._ ” This time when Yuuri looked from the phone screen to Victor’s face, his eyes were sparkling. Victor smiled, feeling relieved. Yuuri smiled, then his face cracked into laughter. 

“Wow.” He looked at Victor again and laughed again. “I’ve never...actually...fucked anyone, you know.” He bit his lip and looked at Victor with a mixture of embarrassment and hope.

Victor smiled, took his phone back, tossing it to the bed, and moved in for a kiss. He looked a silent question at Yuuri first, and got an affirmative response. Then he kissed Yuuri deeply, thrilling at the enthusiastic response. They both were feeling relieved, and clutched at each other with increasing force. 

After some minutes of kissing, Yuuri pressed Victor back into the bed, lying full on top and grinding down against him. Victor shuddered and clutched at Yuuri’s shoulders. They stripped off each other’s shirts, Yuuri moving over Victor’s chest with his mouth, licking, tasting, sucking. 

“I love having you on top of me,” Victor moaned. Yuuri responded by pressing harder against Victor, the length of his hard cock brushing against Victor’s own. Victor was hesitant to act, given everything that had passed between them. He didn’t want to push. But Yuuri being in control was overloading his senses and his body was filling up with nothing but _want_ so he relaxed back and let himself just feel.

Yuuri returned to his mouth and they kissed hungrily, hands tracing up and down each other’s bodies anywhere they could reach. 

Yuuri broke away from Victor’s mouth to gasp, “Victor.” It was a plea, a needy sound and it went straight to Victor’s cock. 

“Hmm?” he asked, as he thrust up against Yuuri’s body. 

“I’ve been dying for you to touch me,” whispered Yuuri in his ear. Victor moaned aloud. He took a moment to kiss Yuuri thoroughly before rolling them over. Yuuri lay under him and looked up with an expression Victor couldn’t name, but which made his heart clench in his chest. He leaned down to kiss him again, wanting to taste his need.

Victor kissed his way down Yuuri’s chest to his waist. He stopped when he reached the waistband of his pants. The outline of Yuuri’s erection showed clearly, and he placed a hand on it, tracing the size and watching Yuuri’s reaction. Yuuri arched his back a bit and gasped at the touch, nodding at Victor. 

Still Victor hesitated, reading tension in Yuuri’s frame, in the way he bit his lip as he watched Victor. He stroked his cock again through his clothing, eyes still on Yuuri’s face. This time Yuuri gave a slight sob.

“Please,” he breathed, and Victor grinned. Yuuri’s hand joined Victor’s on the elastic waist and they pulled Yuuri’s clothing down together until it puddled around his ankle on the floor. 

Victor’s eyes traced back up Yuuri’s now bare body, barely flickering over his flushed cock, and back up to Yuuri’s face. Their eyes locked and Victor traced his hand up Yuuri’s cock, the skin velvety under his fingertips. He watched Yuuri’s reaction, which was spectacular. Yuuri looked like he was on the edge of orgasm, desperate, and Victor had barely touched him. Victor leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss, his grasp on his cock firming, beginning to stroke in earnest, swallowing Yuuri’s gasps and moans with his mouth. 

Victor worked at learning Yuuri, learned what kind of touch made him gasp, what earned him a low moan, and what caused his whole body to arch up under Victor. Victor repeated the twist of his wrist that had earned him that reaction and Yuuri shuddered. 

Seeing that the last traces of anxiety had left Yuuri’s eyes to be replaced by need and pleasure, Victor slowly started moving down his body, his tongue tracing a path as he went. When he reached Yuuri’s belly he traced small circles into the soft flesh right next to the head of Yuuri’s cock. 

“Victorr, _please,_ ” begged Yuuri and Victor smiled up at him. He shifted over a few centimeters, and licked lightly up the shaft of Yuuri’s cock towards the head. Yuuri reacted as if he’d been electrocuted, hips coming off the mattress with a full-throated shout. Victor chuckled softly, looking up to his lover’s face once again. He’d spent so much time longing to pleasure Yuuri, feeling selfish at merely taking, that now he wanted to savor each reaction.

He opened his mouth wide and took the head between his lips. He’d judged Yuuri’s size with his hand, the tips of his fingers not quite meeting around the shaft. He had to open his jaw as wide as possible to take his cock in, and he couldn’t take in more than about a third of his length. Victor felt some consternation to realize all the skill he thought he had at giving head was probably not going to apply in this case. He hummed in pleasure around Yuuri’s cock anyway, his hand stroking up and down the rest of his length, spreading his saliva down. 

Victor worked him as best he could, with mouth and hands, sucking and bobbing until his jaw ached, and then switching to licking and mouthing at the sides. Yuuri made appreciative noises to all of it, his hands scrabbling at the sheets next to his hips one moment, burying themselves in Victor’s hair the next. 

Victor shifted downwards, laving Yuuri’s balls with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth while he hand continued to stroke at his shaft. Yuuri shouted again, gasping a Japanese word. Victor paused long enough to grin before flicking his tongue back out to tease. When he’d thoroughly explored that area, he moved back up to take Yuuri’s cock in his mouth, trying to take him deeper this time. He gagged a little as his air was cut off. Yuuri’s hand was back in his hair and tugged him up and off his cock.

“You don’t have to,” Yuuri said. Victor just grinned at him, mouth sloppy with drool. Yuuri’s eyes were drowsy with arousal, his breath coming in short pants. He was beautiful. 

“Don’t worry about me,” said Victor before attacking Yuuri’s cock again hungrily. This time his determination had Yuuri’s cock brushing the back of his mouth, triggering another gag, but Victor didn’t pull off. He stilled and waited for his reflex to pass and then hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard. 

“Fuck,” sobbed Yuuri, and Victor filled with pride. He did pull off then, to give his jaw a break, returning to flicking his tongue against the underside of Yuuri’s cock. One hand moved lower, massaging his balls, and teasing against his perineum. Yuuri groaned and pushed against his hand, so Victor increased the pressure. His finger, slippery with his own saliva, circled Yuuri’s entrance lightly. Yuuri’s noises were encouraging, so Victor continued to press in, lightly, just teasing against the muscle. His other hand and mouth worked at Yuuri’s cock and Victor could tell his lover was becoming overwhelmed. Yuuri was making small noises in time with the stroking of Victor’s hand. Victor lapped at his slit, causing louder sobs, while he increased the speed of his stroking. He pressed more insistently with his finger, almost surprised when it sank into Yuuri’s body up to the second knuckle. But then Yuuri clamped down _hard_ around his finger and his hips had lifted off the bed and he was coming, thick ropes of semen shooting onto his stomach. Victor stroked him through it, sitting up to watch the glorious spectacle of Yuuri’s orgasm. 

As Yuuri came down, body relaxing in increments, Victor felt a trembling though his own limbs, almost as if he had been the one to come. But his cock was still rigid, aching where it rose untouched against his belly. 

Victor eased his finger from Yuuri’s body, stroking the last drops of ejaculate from his cock. Yuuri shuddered with aftershocks, gasping for air, eyes blinking behind his glasses. Victor grinned at him and then looked around for something to clean him off. He grabbed some tissues from Yuuri’s desk and used them to wipe gently at the cooling mess on his stomach and chest. Yuuri watched him quietly, eyes still wide and mouth slightly parted. 

When Victor was done, Yuuri tugged on his arm and pulled him up next to him. Victor laid his head on Yuuri’s shoulder, but Yuuri pulled him up farther and kissed him passionately. 

“We’re not done yet, are we?” asked Yuuri, placing a hand over Victor’s erection. Victor smiled, stretching out his arms over his head, giving Yuuri access to his body. “I owe you since I left you unsatisfied earlier.” He murmured this against the skin of Victor’s stomach, his hands already pulling his pants down. Victor would have protested the idea of being owed, but his cock was aching and he thought Yuuri was teasing him in any case. 

Thankfully Yuuri didn’t tease him any further, but took his cock into his mouth without hesitation. He worked Victor with enthusiasm, and Victor felt the long wait for this in how quickly his pleasure mounted. Yuuri didn’t give him time to catch his breath at all, pumping fast and hard, a hand on his balls, one on his shaft, and his mouth swallowing around as much as he could take. 

“Fuck, Yuuri,” Victor gritted out through his teeth, his body bowed with tension, feeling himself rushing towards the edge of climax. Yuuri only responded by taking him deeper, the head of Victor’s cock bumping repeatedly against the back of his throat. Victor gave a prolonged strangled cry at that sensation and then he was convulsing, shooting straight down Yuuri’s throat, his hips jerking of their own volition. Yuuri choked and pulled away, ribbons of saliva and semen trailing from his mouth. 

Victor opened his mouth to apologize, but all he could do was gasp for air as his heart pounded. His balls ached from the force of his orgasm, from being erect for so long. Yuuri wiped his mouth a little sheepishly and swallowed a few times. He got up from the bed to dig in his backpack for a half empty water bottle, which he took a long drink from.

“Sorry about that,” managed Victor finally. Yuuri shook his head in dismissal, offering the water to Victor as well. Victor took it and drank thirstily. Yuuri settled back next to him and Victor rolled over to press their bodies, both finally gloriously naked, together.

“That was fantastic,” he said. “So hot.” Yuuri nuzzled into him happily. They lay tightly wrapped around one another as their bodies cooled and their breathing and heart rates returned to normal. Their hands stroked along each other’s skin lazily, Victor exploring the smooth curve of Yuuri’s muscular ass, Yuuri’s hand tracing over Victor’s lower back. 

Finally Victor felt moved to break the silence. “Was it good, for you?” Yuuri shifted, pulling Victor tighter against him. 

He spoke into Victor’s shoulder. “Best ever.” Victor chuckled a bit and blushed.

“Really?” he asked, not sure whether to think it was flattery.

“Very really,” murmured Yuuri. Victor pressed a kiss into his hair. Yuuri shifted a little and looked up at him, his face serious. “Victor, you...” He swallowed. “You looked at me, not...my cock.” His face flushed red. “You made me feel...loved.” 

“Yuuri,” Victor breathed, cupping the other man’s cheek. “Yuuri, you are, love, I do.” Yuuri squirmed a bit, looking away. “Come here,” said Victor as he urged the other man to meet his eyes. When he did he saw Yuuri’s eyes shimmering and felt his own well up in response. “I do love you, _dorogoy_. I feel like I have forever.”

Yuuri made a noise in his throat and opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead surged up and kissed Victor. He kissed him deeply, slowly, thoroughly, and Victor melted into it. He felt the depth of Yuuri’s response to his words in the kiss. So he held on to his lover tightly and didn’t let go.

~~~~~

The days passed quickly, stolen moments throughout the day filled with kisses, tender words, sometimes more passionate contact. And at night they explored each other, learning how to make each other gasp and moan and beg. Yuuri repeated his offer to let Victor fuck him, and after making sure it was genuine, Victor did.

Yuuri requested he be face-up when Victor took him, so he could watch Victor. Victor took his time opening him up, loving how responsive his sometimes shy lover was in bed. Yuuri urged him to hurry, finally begging to be filled up, and Victor thought he might burst just from that. Easing into Yuuri’s body was delicious, watching the pleasure spark on his face delightful. Victor kissed Yuuri as he started moving in earnest, his body weighing the smaller man down, Yuuri’s cock rigid between them. 

Victor found he loved how it felt, Yuuri’s cock against his own naked belly, so he stayed low and thrust shallowly, dragging his skin along his length. Yuuri moaned, trying to lift his hips to increase the pressure, but finding that caused Victor to shift in his ass, making it more intense. So Yuuri was increasingly desperate below Victor, trying to move in two different directions at once. Victor was taking things slowly, but Yuuri started urging him for ‘more’, ‘faster’, ‘please.’

So Victor sat up and got his thighs under Yuuri’s ass, pulling his lover’s legs over his own, gripping his hips and fucking into him hard. Experimenting with the angle until Yuuri started coming completely apart beneath him. Yuuri’s cries shifted from soft moans and gasps into strangled cries and sobs, almost noises of pain when Victor rocked into him extra hard. 

And then Yuuri was fumbling desperately for his own cock, grasping it and yanking with his hand, mouth open in a wordless plea. Victor thrilled to see him so transported, so un-self-conscious and desperate. He could only watch, and keep fucking, watching as Yuuri’s eyes rolled back and he came, jerking his cock hard. His body thrashed as Victor fucked him through his orgasm, rocking into him quickly now, chasing his own climax. Yuuri was gripping Victor’s forearms hard, eyes wide, when Victor’s orgasm hit him, and he jerked convulsively into his lover, bending him further, aware of Yuuri’s cries of overstimulation, but unable to consider stopping at that moment. 

Finally the wave crested and his muscles unlocked. He released Yuuri and pulled from him carefully, both of them gasping at that sensation. Yuuri looked wrecked beneath him, sweaty and panting and eyes vague. Victor disposed of the condom and collapsed half onto Yuuri, heedless of the messy fluids that covered much of their skin. They panted together, shuddering with after effects.

“Are you ok?” asked Victor, belatedly concerned he may have been too rough. 

“Uh-huh. Think so,” said Yuuri vaguely. 

“Sure?” Victor shifted so he could see Yuuri’s face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just...” Yuuri was still looking vague and unfocused. “That was...amazing.”

“Oh,” said Victor. “Good.” He relaxed then, and they lay snuggled together, enjoying the afterglow.

~~~~~

“Can I ask you something?” asked Yuuri one day as they soaked in the onsen. 

“Of course,” said Victor, relaxed in the heat.

“You said you had a ‘thing’,” began Yuuri hesitantly. “A...size thing.”

“Oh,” said Victor, his face heating slightly. “Yes.” They sat in silence for a moment. “Was that the question?” Victor asked hopefully.

“Umm, no.” Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “I wondered...why?”

Victor tilted his head, considering. The reasons seemed a little obvious to him, but he also understood his answer was important to Yuuri. In truth, he hadn’t really ever asked himself why the thought of a large cock turned him on so much. 

“I really like...bottoming,” he began. Yuuri’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. Victor hesitated before deciding to continue. “A while back I...I got really into...rough sex.” He flicked his eyes to Yuuri to check his reaction. He looked a little surprised but not upset. “I looked for men who would...really...” He trailed off, not sure how to say this here. He looked at Yuuri a little helplessly. 

Yuuri extended a hand to him, silently asking him to come closer. Victor took his hand immediately, heart filled with gratitude. He let Yuuri pull him close, so they were separated only by a thin barrier of water and steam. 

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want,” said Yuuri softly. Victor took a deep breath. Yuuri squeezed his hand. “But I’d like to hear, to understand, if you’re willing.”

Victor nodded, meeting Yuuri’s eyes for a time. “Maybe not here?” he said finally. “It’s...” he looked around. Yuuri nodded as if he understood.

“Ok,” he said. 

Later, when they were alone in Victor’s room, Yuuri snuggled into Victor’s side. “Do you want to talk now?” asked Yuuri.

“Mmm, I’d like to do things other than talk,” replied Victor. Yuuri looked up at him with a hint of reproach in his eyes. “But ok.”

Yuuri waited in silence, his hand tracing down Victor’s arm and taking his hand, interlacing their fingers. Victor tried to remember the thread of what he’d been trying to say in the onsen, when his inclination was to push it aside and enjoy the moment.

“You were saying something about...rough sex?” prompted Yuuri. 

“Yeah,” said Victor, sighing a bit. “For a while, that’s what I was looking for, just to be fucked really hard. I guess the idea of being with someone with a really big cock, that was the next logical step?” He shrugged, staring at the far wall.

“Who...” began Yuuri, then stopped.

“Who was I having this rough sex with?” Victor smiled slightly, a bitter edge to it. “Just random people. Men I met in clubs, online, anonymous one night stands.”

“Really?” Yuuri sounded a bit shocked. “I mean, it just doesn’t really sound like you.” 

“Doesn’t it?” asked Victor, a bit ironically. “I wasn’t very happy at the time. This was a few years ago. I didn’t want anything I had to think about. I just wanted to _feel,_ you know. The more intense the better.”

“So...” Yuuri hesitated again and Victor risked a glance at his face. He was chewing on his bottom lip. “Is that something you still want?”

Victor’s heart beat fast in his chest, not sure of the right response. He didn’t know what answer Yuuri wanted to hear, wasn’t even truly sure of the real answer. 

“No?” he answered finally, which was hardly an answer at all. “Yuuri, everything is different now. Everything is different with _you._ ”

“Yeah?” 

“Yes. I...I mean, there are things I still want.” Victor felt more sure of himself suddenly. “I want you to fuck me. Very much. And not just because of the size thing, that’s irrelevant. I’d want it desperately anyway, you know?” He looked to Yuuri, hoping his lover _did_ know.

Yuuri nodded but he looked a little unsure. Victor continued, “And I have fantasized about big dicks, for years now, and never really got to really try it. So that’s a kink I have, okay. But...what...what I want is to be with _you_ , because I love you like I’ve never loved anyone. And as far as what I want in bed with you, I want everything. I want anything you want, and I want a little of everything, all different ways.” 

Victor couldn’t look away from Yuuri as the words poured out of him, and Yuuri’s eyes were locked on his. His expression was soft, and loving, and it gave Victor strength.

“So do I want you to fuck me, hard, until I fall completely apart?” Victor had lowered his voice to a seductive purr. “Yes, Yuuri, I want that. I also want to worship your cock with my mouth for hours. And I want to fuck you slow and gentle or hard and fast or anyway you want it, until we’re both completely wrecked.” 

He’d moved closer to Yuuri and he spoke, and he finished with his mouth almost touching his lover’s lips. Yuuri gave a sob of want as he spoke his last words, and then Victor kissed him, Yuuri wrapping both arms tightly around his neck, arching up under him. Their kisses were deep, hungry and needy, and Victor couldn’t have said which of them was closer to tears. In fact he did feel dampness against his cheek, but he didn’t know if it was his own tears or Yuuri’s, or possibly both. 

They kissed until they calmed, which was quite a while. They moved against one another hard, clutching and trying to get continuously closer, but there wasn’t a sexual urgency to their movements. What drove them was emotional need, not physical, and when they finally slowed and stilled, Victor felt like he’d reached some kind of deep satisfaction, even though his cock was still hard.

He and Yuuri lay facing each other, arms and legs tangled, smiling and breathing into the shared space between them. 

“You’re amazing,” whispered Yuuri as if afraid to disturb the contented silence. Victor smiled in disbelief.

“I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” he replied. Yuuri shook his head softly. “I love you,” Victor said again, kissing Yuuri very lightly on the lips.

“I love you too,” Yuuri said, eyes sparkling.

“Yeah?” 

“Yes.” Victor was fairly sure it was unhealthy to feel this happy. His heart felt like it might fail at any moment. They lay together, softly touching and stroking and kissing, until they both eventually drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~

The next day Yuuri had Victor up against the door to his room, having pinned him against it as soon as it was closed behind them. Victor let himself be thoroughly kissed, Yuuri’s thigh between his legs teasing at more.

“So,” Yuuri broke away from his mouth and spoke lowly. “You mentioned working up to that toy you showed me. What would it take to work up to me?” Victor’s eyes widened and his breath felt a bit short. 

“Umm,” he said intelligently. He swallowed. “I have a couple toys I brought with me that we could use. It might...just take some extra long prep time?” 

Yuuri pressed closer against him and Victor felt his hard cock against his hip. “You mean it could be...tonight?” he asked, his voice low and hungry. Victor took a shuddering breath.

“Maybe? It’s been a couple weeks since I...used anything, but maybe?” Yuuri raised his eyebrows in silent question and invitation. “You want to try?” Victor asked, just to be clear. Yuuri nodded and shifted back, pulling Victor by the hand towards the bed. 

“Yuuri,” said Victor seriously, pulling back on his hand. Yuuri looked at him, surprised, all playfulness gone from his face. Victor closed the distance between them. “Even if it doesn’t happen tonight, I know we’ll both enjoy it.” 

Yuuri’s face cracked into a smile. “Thanks,” he said. Victor kissed him briefly and then pulled away to dig out the supplies they’d need. Once he’d found everything he laid them out on the bed next to where Yuuri was seated: bottle of lube, condoms, an anal plug, and a dildo. The last two were the only toys he’d brought with him to Japan out of his rather extensive collection. He’d been slightly afraid of having his luggage searched, so he’d avoided bringing anything electronic or vibrating. And he’d really expected he’d be getting laid fairly quickly after his arrival, so he hadn’t anticipated having a lot of need for them. Of course, things hadn’t worked out exactly the way he’d expected.

The dildo was a familiar standby for him. The soft silicone toy was large enough to make him feel nicely stretched, but not so big it was difficult to use or left him sore the next day. It was thicker than the average cock, but still significantly smaller than Yuuri’s. Yuuri had picked it up and was examining it a little. 

“When was the last time you used this?” he asked. 

“Umm, a couple of weeks ago?” That would have been a short time after he and Yuuri had started kissing, but before they’d moved on to any sexual contact. Yuuri looked thoughtful.

“So you were in here,” he said in a strange voice, “right in this room, on the other side of the wall from me, fucking yourself with this?” Victor’s breath caught. He nodded.

“Thinking of you,” he added. Yuuri made a needy sound and then reached for him. They kissed hungrily, hands pulling at clothing. They worked their shirts off, tossed them to the floor, and then moved up the bed. Yuuri tugged insistently at Victor’s pants, pulling them down until Victor yanked them the rest of the way off. Yuuri kissed him, and then turned Victor so he was face-down on the bed, guiding him to lay down. Victor shivered, his cock hardening under him as he pillowed his head on his arms. 

Yuuri kissed down Victor’s spine, hands sliding across the planes of his back. “I dreamed about doing this, you know,” he said. 

“Hmm, really?” Yuuri traced a line towards the small of his back with his tongue.

“Mm-hmm. Watching you in the onsen, thinking about what I’d like to do if I dared.” Yuuri’s words went straight to Victor’s cock and he squirmed a little, enjoying the friction against the sheet.

“What else did you think about doing?” he asked. 

“Hmm, lots of things. Like this.” Yuuri moved down and bit into the curve of Victor’s ass, making him hiss. Yuuri smoothed over the bite mark with his hands, then massaged the globes of his ass with both hands. He bent again and bit the other cheek, just hard enough to make Victor groan. Victor shifted under his hands as he rubbed the marks.

“You can do anything you want to me,” Victor sighed, wriggling enticingly.

“Oh really?” asked Yuuri, amused.

“Mmm, definitely.”

“Good,” said Yuuri, and then he spread the cheeks of Victor’s ass with both hands and Victor tensed in pleasant anticipation as he felt cool air against his hole. He gasped as he felt warm breath and then the flick of a tongue. 

Victor groaned loudly, surprised and incredibly aroused. Yuuri took it for the encouragement it was, lapping more intently at the pucker, tongue making circles, face pressing harder between Victor’s cheeks. 

“Fuck, Yuuri, you always surprise me,” Victor gasped out as Yuuri continued to eat him out. Yuuri pressed more and more forcefully with his tongue, the tip sliding in further bit by wet, sloppy bit. The feel of that slick muscle wriggling into him made Victor sob and press back against him as best he could with Yuuri lying on his legs. 

Yuuri sat up a bit and replaced his tongue with a finger, working Victor more open, using his own saliva to ease the way. Once he had the finger fully inside he added his tongue back, licking around the rim that gripped at the intrusion. Victor voiced his approval loudly.

“God, Yuuri, have I ever told you how amazing you are in bed? And what a lucky, lucky man I am?” 

Yuuri paused and raised his head to answer. “Actually no, you haven’t.” He drove his finger into Victor’s ass hard at that, making him moan.

“Oh. Sorry, sorry, I meant to say it. You’re so good, Yuuri, so good at making me feel good, oh god, don’t stop.” Yuuri chuckled a little and Victor felt the breath against his hole. Yuuri pressed his tongue inside again, deeper this time, sliding in and out while his finger stayed in place. Victor’s lost all ability to form words, his reactions expressed in sounds coming straight from his throat.

Yuuri opened him up slowly, taking his time. He added lube and a second finger, still using his tongue as well. He worked up to three fingers after a while, gradually fucking into Victor more quickly as he relaxed, only making Victor writhe more desperately. 

Victor’s cock ached where it was pressed between his body and the mattress. He longed to properly thrust into the bed, to get the friction that might let him come, but he couldn’t move enough for that, and Yuuri’s attentions to his ass blended into the ache until he couldn’t rightly tell where the pleasure or throbbing almost-pain was coming from. 

Yuuri planted a gentle kiss to the small of Victor’s back. “You ready for the dildo?” he asked sweetly. Victor tried to remember how words worked but gave up and just nodded instead. He then groaned in complaint when Yuuri retracted his hand, leaving Victor’s ass clenching around emptiness. 

Yuuri shifted behind him and Victor took advantage of the moment to thrust his cock desperately into the mattress. Evidently Yuuri saw him because he heard his lover laugh behind him. 

“Impatient, Victor?” he asked. 

“Please, Yuuri, please, I can’t wait,” Victor begged shamelessly, continuing to rub himself on the sheet.

“You need to come?” asked Yuuri, hand tracing over Victor’s ass. 

“Mmm-hmmm, please.” Yuuri stroked his cheek a bit more and then without warning smacked his ass. It stung a little and Victor gasped in surprise. Then he groaned, his cock feeling even harder.

“Ok, up on your knees,” Yuuri instructed, as if he hadn’t just nearly made Victor come from a smack on the ass. But Victor obeyed, rising to his knees, his shoulders and head still resting on the pillow. Yuuri stroked up his back appreciatively. 

Yuuri reached a hand under Victor’s hip and gripped Victor’s cock, stroking lightly. Victor groaned, shaking in appreciation and gratitude. He felt entirely at Yuuri’s mercy, and knowing Yuuri was listening to his pleas made him feel warm inside. Yuuri stroked a couple more times, slowly, just barely taking the edge off Victor’s aching need. Then he removed his hand, to Victor’s loud protests. 

“Just wait,” Yuuri said soothingly. “Trust me, ok?” And Victor whined, but he did trust Yuuri, so he tried his best to relax. And then he heard the bottle of lube open and close. His distracted mind wondered if Yuuri was actually going to try to fuck him already. But then he felt the cool bluntness of the dildo against his opening and he mentally cursed himself for being an idiot. Yuuri had even told him what he was going to do. 

“You have to tell me how this feels, ok?” instructed Yuuri as he began pressing into him. Victor hissed out agreement. The pressure increased and he shifted backwards, trying to take it faster. “You sure you’re ready for this?” asked Yuuri, sounding doubtful.

“No, it’s fine,” said Victor. “Really. I’m used to this. Push harder.” Yuuri did as he asked and after another moment the resistance gave way and the tip of the toy slid past the ring of muscle. Victor gasped and Yuuri stopped to wait for him. After a few moments Victor waved him on and Yuuri pressed the toy smoothly into him. 

Victor loved the feeling of being stretched open. Nothing compared to it in his experience. When Yuuri had pressed the dildo in far enough that it moved beyond where his fingers had already stretched him, Victor hissed and Yuuri paused again. 

“Too far?” asked Yuuri.

“No, no, just, fuck me with it, a little deeper at a time,” Victor instructed. And Yuuri did, Victor grunting with each thrust as it hit a new place inside him, until the base of the toy was flush against him. “Mmm,” he moaned in pleasure, wriggling a little at the feeling. 

He shifted forwards to get Yuuri moving it again, and his lover took the hint, moving it carefully in and out of him. Then Yuuri shifted around and reached his left hand forward to stroke Victor’s cock while his other fucked him with the toy. Victor cried out then, rocking forwards and back, demanding it faster, harder, and then he was coming, shooting hard over Yuuri’s hand, choking as the toy rocked into him even as he came. 

Yuuri released him as he shuddered, slowly sinking forward against the mattress, heedless of the wet mess on the sheets. His legs slid back, and the toy slipped from his ass with a wet noise. He heard Yuuri moving behind him, apparently fetching a towel to wipe his hand. He urged Victor to lift his hips enough to place the towel under him, even though Victor tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary. 

Yuuri’s hands stroked soothingly down Victor’s back as he trembled, floating on a sea of contentment. 

“You’re so hot, Victor,” he murmured. Then he kissed the center of Victor’s back, trailing down to the curve above his ass, lingering there, pressing a circle of small kisses against his skin.  
Then Yuuri laid down on his back next to Victor, still stoking gently down his side. Victor cracked an eye and looked up at him. Yuuri smiled. 

“Give me a minute,” Victor said, his voice rough. “And then you can fuck me.”

“It’s ok if we don’t,” said Yuuri. 

“Uh-uh. Want to.” Victor worked a hand out from under the pillow and reached for his lover. He slung an arm over Yuuri’s waist.

“I don’t know, you seem awfully tired,” Yuuri teased.

“Not _that_ tired.” Victor worked his hand down blindly, surprised when he encountered clothing. Somehow Yuuri was still half dressed. Victor continued down anyway, feeling for Yuuri’s cock through his clothes. He found it easily, rigid and jutting up against the cloth. He squeezed, which made Yuuri gasp. Victor smiled, somehow proud that Yuuri still wanted him, was still hard for him. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you,” he mumbled as he stroked him.

“Please do,” said Yuuri breathily. “But I just meant we don’t have to fuck.” 

“Fuck that,” said Victor. Yuuri giggled a little, then gasped as Victor gripped him harder. Victor slipped his hand under the waistband of his pants and took his cock properly in hand. He rolled a little to give himself a better angle and started pumping Yuuri, not gripping too hard, just enough to get the other man breathing heavy and shifting his hips up. Victor’s lassitude was receding as he watched Yuuri’s face redden, his eyes darken in arousal.

In another situation Victor would climb on top of Yuuri and take him that way. But he wasn’t entirely sure if riding would work for them. It was an experiment for another time. So instead Victor tugged at Yuuri’s pants until the other man stripped them off. As he did, Victor moved to all fours, shaking his ass a little to get Yuuri’s attention. 

Yuuri laughed and smacked a hand down on his cheek. Victor groaned approval. “So you like spankings?” Yuuri asked, rubbing his hand over his ass teasingly. Victor opened his mouth to answer, but Yuuri spanked him again, this time harder. 

“Ah! Yes...apparently.” He shifted his hips back in supplication. Yuuri smacked at his other cheek this time, the warmth spreading across Victor’s skin. 

“You never tried it?” Yuuri sounded incredulous.

“Mmm, not really.” Yuuri hit him again, and then again on the other cheek. “I mean, when someone did before, I wasn’t that into it.” 

“Really?” And now Yuuri sounded concerned. “You sure you like it?”

“Very,” insisted Victor. “Please, more.” Yuuri returned to spanking him, moving from one cheek to the other, varying the force and angle of the strikes, until Victor’s flesh was stinging and he was gasping for air. He was also shocked to find himself getting hard again so soon. “Yuuuuuri,” Victor moaned.

“Hmm, I guess we both learned something new tonight,” said Yuuri. 

“Both?” asked Victor absently.

“You learned you like it when I spank you and I learned I like to spank you,” explained Yuuri. Victor laughed. 

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “Would you also like to fuck me?” 

“So much,” said Yuuri in a whisper. He came to kneel behind Victor. “What do you need me to do?” 

“Hmm?”

“I mean, what other prep do you need?” Yuuri circled his thumb around Victor’s hole, pressing it in slowly. It slid inside easily. 

“Mmm.” Victor shifted back, enjoying the feel of Yuuri pulling up with his thumb, stretching him open a little. “I don’t know if I do. I feel like I might be loose enough.”

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Yuuri pressed his thumb further in, moving it around and pressing against the walls of Victor’s passage. “I’m going to use the toy some more, ok?” Victor agreed and waited while Yuuri retrieved the dildo and coated it with more lube. Victor understood that Yuuri was worried about hurting him, but he knew his own capabilities better and he felt ready. Still he would be patient and let Yuuri take all the time he wanted. 

Yuuri pressed the slightly flexible toy into him in one thrust, making Victor cry out. It went in easily, especially given how much lube they’d used already. But it felt fantastic and Victor felt himself get fully hard as he was filled up and fucked again. Yuuri was rougher with him this time, thrusting faster and harder, apparently enjoying Victor’s enthusiastic response. 

“You _do_ like getting fucked, don’t you, Victor?” Victor nodded and whimpered. Yuuri slammed the dildo into him several more times.

“Please, please, Yuuri, please.”

“Please what, Victor?” Yuuri purred.

“Please fuck me. I need you inside me, please.” Victor was shaking a little. It felt good to have Yuuri pleasuring him this way, but it was nothing to how good it would feel to actually have the man inside him. Victor had been waiting for this for _months_ and he was out of patience. “I can’t wait anymore.”

“Ok, ok.” Yuuri steadied Victor’s hips with a hand as he withdrew the dildo slowly. He tossed it to the side and Victor heard the crinkle and tear of a condom wrapper. And then Yuuri was kneeling close behind him and Victor felt him against his entrance.

“Ok,” said Yuuri and Victor heard the nervousness in his voice. 

“I’m so ready for you,” Victor said, shifting back against his cock very slightly. 

“Ok,” repeated Yuuri, and he pressed a little forward. He did feel huge against Victor, even as open as Victor was, he feared for a moment that it wasn’t going to work. He shifted back, increasing the pressure, feeling a little burn as his body resisted. He felt Yuuri start to move back and he flailed a hand behind him to stop him.

“It’s ok,” he said. “Just stay there, ok?” And he shifted his hips back some more, his body starting to open around the tip of Yuuri’s cock. Yuuri stayed still and let Victor move backwards gradually, taking him in a centimeter at a time. Even with all the prep the stretch burned. Victor realized he could probably hurt himself if he tried to take Yuuri’s cock too quickly, if he didn’t let himself adjust. Perversely, that realization sent a throb of arousal through him, making his cock bob. But his body did adjust, his muscles and skin stretched and the burn eased. 

“Oh fuck yes,” he breathed and heard a huff of breath from Yuuri. “Move, Yuuri, please, slowly.” And Yuuri did, pressing into him slowly but smoothly. Victor gave a sob when the head of Yuuri’s cock brushed his prostate. “Fuck.”

“Ok?”

“So good,” hissed Victor and Yuuri kept moving. Victor was biting his lip hard to keep from making more noise, to keep himself from thrusting back hard all at once. After too long of slow incremental penetration, Yuuri stilled. His hands stroked the sides of Victor’s thighs a few times and then came up to grip his hips. 

Then Yuuri started pulling back, not too quickly, but not nearly as slowly as he’d moved forward. He started fucking into Victor shallowly, just a few inches moving in and out, picking up speed. Victor hummed in approval, trying to increase the depth of penetration by moving himself as well. But Yuuri had a strong grip on his hips and he didn’t let Victor deepen things yet. 

“You feel so good, Victor.” And Victor filled with pride and sudden realization. This was the first time Yuuri had ever done this. He forgot all about his own selfish desire to have Yuuri pound into him hard and focused on what Yuuri must be feeling. He was obviously trying to be careful, but it might be as much for himself as for Victor. Victor relaxed and let himself enjoy the feeling of Yuuri in him, content to let Yuuri lead however he wanted. He realized the last thing he needed was to demand too much of Yuuri and have anything go badly. If he got hurt, if Yuuri didn’t enjoy it...there would be later to beg Yuuri to fuck him into the mattress.

“Yuuri, god that’s good,” he moaned and was delighted when Yuuri thrust into him a little harder. He continued making noises of appreciation. And then Yuuri went a little deeper and Victor cried out.

“Too much?” asked Yuuri frantically.

“No, no, no, no. Perfect. Do that again. Just like that, oh god.” Yuuri did and Victor keened, his mind a whiteout of pleasure. Yuuri increased his speed, fucking into him at the same angle and depth, his cock sending sparks of sensation up Victor’s spine with every thrust. Victor was beyond words. He was making a continuous series of noises in time with Yuuri’s movements. He didn’t know if they sounded like noises of pain or pleasure but they were significantly higher pitched than anything he was used to hearing from himself. 

If it weren’t for Yuuri’s strong grip on his hips he didn’t think he’d still be up on hands and knees. Victor felt as if his entire body was being sensitized by Yuuri’s cock stroking inside him, continually pressing his prostate, touching so much of him at once. 

“More, Yuuri, please, fuck I’m so close,” he begged, not knowing until he was halfway through the sentence that he was going to speak. Yuuri made a needy noise and thrust deeper, causing Victor to gasp, “Fuck!”

Victor felt like he was an instant from orgasm, like any movement of Yuuri’s cock inside him could spill him over the edge, and also like he might last all night, like he could take hours of Yuuri fucking him and never have enough. He whimpered and shuddered as Yuuri shattered him to pieces and yet somehow held him together with those hands on his hips. Time stretched and lost all meaning, the only unit of measurement being the stroke of Yuuri in him and the gasp of his breaths. 

Yuuri was making more noise now, though, and his hands dug harder into Victor. His thrusts lost some of their rhythm and control. Victor cried out as he took Yuuri deeper, calling encouragement to him, not entirely sure if he was speaking English or if he was even managing to form words. But whether he could understand him or not, Yuuri was bottoming out in Victor now, his hips finally hitting Victor’s ass. Victor lost the ability to hold himself up, his arms collapsing under him, falling with his face buried in the pillow. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” he chanted into the bed, feeling like he was dissolving around Yuuri’s cock, losing himself to the sensation of it. And then Yuuri was leaning over him, reaching, and he was pulling on Victor’s cock as he fucked into him and Victor was done, flying completely apart. He bucked wildly and one of his knees slipped and he collapsed, Yuuri following him down to the mattress. 

Yuuri kept fucking him, because he was frenzied now, too, and Victor felt like he was still coming, rutting into the mattress, and maybe he was. Yuuri was lying full on top of him, clutching now at his shoulders, his thrusts more shallow, but still shuddering through Victor to his core. And then Yuuri was shouting and he bit down into the meat of Victor’s shoulder as he jerked into him hard. He stilled and Victor felt his panting breaths against the back of his neck.

They lay together trembling as they both slowly relaxed. Victor could feel Yuuri’s cock softening as he spasmed around it. Yuuri sat up enough to pull out, making Victor shudder and whimper. He rolled to his back as Yuuri disposed of the condom and then they snuggled back together, heedless of the sweat and multiple wet spots on the sheets. 

Neither of them spoke, they just held onto each other, bodies shifting slightly against each other in a continuous motion. They stroked each other as their skin cooled and their breathing slowed.

After a long white, Victor finally spoke. “I don’t have words for how good that was,” he whispered, kissing Yuuri’s forehead lightly. 

“Mmm,” returned Yuuri. “Me either.” They were quiet for a while, bodies relaxing into deep contentment. “I had almost given up hope I’d ever get to do that, you know.”  
“As far as I’m concerned you can do that every night if you want,” murmured Victor. Yuuri snorted.

“You think you could handle that?” Yuuri sounded doubtful.

“Mmm, I’m sure I’d get used to it. We just have to do lots of training and practicing.” Victor was drifting off, his words slurring.

“You’re ridiculous,” said Yuuri fondly. “And I love you.”

Victor smiled and hummed happily. “You’re my dream man, did you know that? Never thought I’d meet you, and then I did.” 

“Victor,” Yuuri whispered softly. But Victor was already sliding into darkness, his deep satisfaction dragging him down into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> dorogoy = дорогая = darling
> 
> I, umm, might have an idea for a sequel. But I have OTHER THINGS TO WRITE. 
> 
> You can follow me on [Tumblr](http://kimthreerings.tumblr.com) in case I do end up writing it, though.


End file.
